05jan08cinema
Ande Tamatar Awards 2008
Dear All
Last year’s Ande Tamatar Awards were a stupendous success with over 100 people in the whole world reading the final list of winners. At this rate, I am sure that before mankind is annihilated by an asteroid, Ande Tamatar Awards would definitely become the most sought after awards in world cinema.
This year the awards will be given in the following categories:
- Best Picture
- Best Actor (Male)
- Best Actor (Female)
- Best Director (Male or Female. Farah Khan also eligible)
- Best Story
- Best Supporting Actor (Male)
- Best Supporting Actor (Female)
- Best Song
- Best Music
- Best Background Score
- Best Lyrics
- Best Playback Singer (Male)
- Best Playback Singer (Female)
- Best Debut (Male)
- Best Debut (Female)
- Best Trailer
- Worst Picture
- Worst Actor (Male)
- Worst Actor (Female)
- Worst Song that everyone else liked
- Most Nonsensical Lyrics
- Most Nonsensical Film Title
- Shahrukh Khan Award (To be given to SRK every year so that I don’t have to think of a new weirdo award every year to give him, like Zee does, for eg. Award for 2 hits in a year, Fun entertainer of the year.. wtf does that mean, morons?).
We also have 2 awards sponsored by Xerox photocopiers (I told you the previous awards were a success. I have sponsorship now).
- Xerox Best Film
- Xerox Best Music
I’ve said this last year, but let me repeat some things about these prestigious awards once again:
- Acting is not the criteria for deciding the best actress and supporting actress awards.
- Best Actor in a comic role and negative role are stupid awards. An actor is an actor. Tragic, comic, positive, negative should not matter. If we want these awards then in 2008 we should also have awards like Best Actor in the role of a Hockey Coach, Best Actor in the role of an arts teacher.
- I know I have not seen all films, but just the fact that I considered a film unworthy of my time already disqualifies it from nominations (except for Music and actress awards
)
Stay tuned for the nominees…