heartattack

If you remember your high school biology, you’d know that there are 206 bones in the body. Well that’s not true anymore, not, at least, for approximately 300 million Indians.

There is a 207th bone that they have – the CELL PHONE.

This bone can be seen dangling next to the ear at all times – while driving a car, riding a motorbike, watching a movie in a cinema hall, shitting, bathing, eating, and if surveys are to be believed, while making love as well.

My question to these people is:

Who are you.. Bill Gates? Do you make a gazillion dollars a second that you can’t afford to postpone a phone call by a few minutes?

Is it so important to take a phone call that you can risk your life and the lives of those around you by riding a motorcycle as if you have half paralysis?

Is it so important to take a phone call that you cannot let others enjoy a movie in silence?

Is it so important to take a phone call that you are willing to sacrifice your privacy of having a bath, taking a leak or making love?

Unless this is a call from Amisha Patel who might just propose to you over the phone, I think it can wait another 10 minutes, can’t it?

Now don’t tell me you don’t do this. I have seen people talking on the phone at public restrooms while taking a leak. I feel sorry for the person on the other side.. but then I think he himself is probably sitting in some cinema hall, disturbing others, and deserves this.

On the topic of etiquette, I think it is high time that our schools added a cellphone etiquette to the Moral Science class. To prevent students from sleeping/talking during class, the class could be conducted over the cell phone, a la Idea TV commercial. I am sure the kids will be wide awake. They just love the phone, don’t they.

Why I say so is because even the most courteous among us become a tramp when it comes to cellphones. Seriously guys, it sucks to find out after a 5 minute monologue with a friend that he was texting his girlfriend while you were talking. Worse feeling than watching Rakhi Sawant host that stupid show of hers.

I have observed that the moment the phone rings, people just scamper to take their cellphone out of the pocket/bag. They might be in the middle of a conversation, but they don’t care. Sometimes I wonder if cellphones in India are a time-bomb in disguise. If you don’t pick the phone up within 2 rings .. BANG [All right you budding terrorists out there, now don't get ideas].

So people, just try and realize that your lack of cellphone etiquette can be really annoying. Show some respect, some courtesy for others around you. If the other person on phone is really that important, go be with him/her. Don’t insult the people around you.

Also, please switch off your cellphone in places where the mere ringing of it can annoy people – cinema halls, hospitals, airplanes. Please please, show some concern about those around you.

Just remember:

IT CAN WAIT ANOTHER 10 MINUTES

“… The violence in Greater Noida continues to grow. Today’s violence lead to the death of 3 civilians and 1 policeman. Now let us hear from our news correspondent Ms XYZ.”

Stumbling upon this story at 5pm on Star News while channel zapping, I decided to watch further, expecting some finer details on the violence in J&K. I was in for an unpleasant surprise.

The correspondent Ms XYZ, having just taken the time from the news anchor, barfs this with a smirk:

“You are talking about hearts breaking, but I am here to talk about hearts coming together. Salman Khan has admitted that he is going to marry Katrina Kaif.”

I was rendered speechless. I wanted to crash my hands through the TV screen and strangle the bitch. But then I realized, how am I different from her? So much is going on in the country, yet I choose to write about Aamir Khan’s endorsement of Monaco! I am as guilty as she is.

I changed the channel to Aaj Tak, where the news anchor claims,

“The most pertinent question is that why is Shah Rukh Khan mum. Why is he not answering Salman’s accusations?”

No, there is a more pertinent question: WHAT HAVE WE BECOME?

Actually Sabse Dheere

Have we become to apathetic that issues outside the secret lives of celebrities fail to evoke any interest in us? Are TV channels like this because that is the only thing we care about?

No, I am not apathetic! I can’t sleep properly at night when I read that a politician spent 1200 crore rupees in a park with her halogen lit statue in it, in a state where 2/3rds of the population does not have a electricity to light an electric bulb.

I think I have been a moron to restrict whatever little writing skill I have on issues that are irrelevant in the bigger scheme of things.

I want to ask the readers who are kind enough to come to this blog – would you come back if I wrote my mind about not just bollywood, but the issues affecting our country, our world, people? Would you? Or would this be the greenlight for you to flee?

I hope to use this space to speak my mind, not only about bollywood, but bigger issues as well. I hope you’d stay on board.