heartattack

The music CD of Delhi-6 has a mirror on the cover. The director wants to send a message, obviously. You succeed Mr Mehra because Delhi-6 the movie is a mirror of our society, especially a mirror of our relationship with God. Go watch it friends! You’ll certainly be bored by some parts, but watch it. You’ll certainly take a few things back home with you if you have even an iota of compassion or love for India.

There is a scene in Delhi-6 where an actor playing Lord Shiva on stage is dancing to entertain the chief guest of the act, the local MLA. Watching this, Abhishek Bachchan comments that ‘Even the Gods know the power of the seat’. My reaction was – I wish!

The reality, I feel, is the exact opposite. In India, religion is always above law. Here anything goes in the name of religion. Religion is the opposite of HIV. It gives you immunity against anything and everything. You can go out and rape nuns, just because they participated in the conversion of a few Hindus into Christians. You can demolish a place of worship (also a national monument) just because some dickhead said that there used to be a temple there. You can set people on fire because some members of their community tore down your place of worship a decade ago. You can block railway tracks for hours because someone allegedly said something against your Guru.

Has there been one person put behind bars for these heinous crimes? Ermm.. NO!

Let’s bring it down a notch lower – things that happen in our daily lives. How many times have you had to wait for an hour in the traffic just because some sonovabitch thinks that it is his right to go to his wedding location riding a horse with a battalion of guests high on marijuana, dancing in the middle of the road. The government imposes a fine if I don’t wear seat belts. But what about these people? Why don’t they get a fine? A fine for blocking the streets? A fine for carrying a naked electrical generator to power the atrocious lighting? A fine for dancing in the middle of a crowded road? A fine for noise pollution, thanks to the inevitably horrible singer who sounds like he’s singing from his anus. Why so? Why no fine? Just because their religion says this is how the wedding should be held? Bullshit, right?

And what about the jagrans in the middle of the road? Why the f*** are these douche-bags allowed to encroach upon the whole road just to conduct an all night prayer? What happens if there is a fire somewhere? How would the fire-engine and the ambulance pass? What about the residents of the area who DO NOT WANT to F***ING PRAY ALL NIGHT and just want to sleep?

Why are helmets not compulsory for the Sikhs? The turban is their problem – they need to figure out how to accommodate the two. It’s not the government’s job to relax rules to accommodate religion.

The season of Ramadan is one another frustrating time, especially if you are out in the evening. Why are these people praying on the road? If the mosque is packed, go home and pray you freak. Again, what if an ambulance needs to pass?

Why do we still have the Islamic law? Why should a religion specific law be allowed to exist in this country? Why can a Muslim man marry 4 times when our constitution forbids polygamy?

Why do we allow places of worship that say “Hindus only” or “Muslims only”? Why do we allow religion specific quotas in certain universities?

Ironically, our symbol of Law is Themis - the ancient Greek Goddess of Justice

In the court of law, why am I asked to swear against the Bible, the Quran, the Gita, or the Guru Granth Sahib at the witness box? What does religion have to do with the judicial system, or even truth? Is lying in court only a crime if the oath of was made against a religious text?

Guys and gals, I’m not an iconoclast. I do dislike organized religions, but I have no problem with the people following them as long as they stay in the limits of common sense. E.g, I have no problems with people praying all night in a stadium. That doesn’t harm anyone. But I have a problem with people praying in the middle of the road. It is a safety hazard. If people do that, they should be jailed/fined.

The foundation of a modern democratic society is an insurmountable rule of law that is common and equal for everyone. Unfortunately, our country has not been able to get that right. Religion is still paramount here. Nobody questions, and nobody complains. Why? Why don’t we question this?  Maybe we like it this this way – following religion over following the law. And why shouldn’t we? The consequences of erring are insignificant, it gives us a false sense of righteousness, and gives us a metric to prove that we are better than others – all of which an equal society with a common rule of law does not allow.

Dear Mr Muthalik

On behalf of all Indians who are proud of their culture, I hereby offer you my heartfelt thanks for preserving the dignity of our culture that has slowly but surely been erorded by the pollution of western ideas.

Valentine’s day is a poison that mustn’t be allowed to kill the morals of our society. People believe you are being an orthodox extremist pig by opposing the day. I am a youth of the contemporary Indian society and I tell you sir that you’re not an orthodox extremist. I myself find Valentine’s day highly vulgar – roses, teddies, and heart shaped balloons are the epitome of sleaze. God save our souls from such bad influence.

I totally agree with your stand that dating is not in our culture. I fully support your move to marry off any couple found cozying up on Valentine’s Day. The youth of today needs to look at the love stories of our culture and mythology and not the west. The greatest love story of our culture is that of Lord Krishna and Radha. They should use that as an example. Lord Krishna and Radhaji never dated, did they? They never held hands in a garden or sang love songs! I’m 100% sure Radhaji and Lord Krishna married the moment they fell in love, which was when they just got out of their strollers. Look at the kids of today – want to date, sing love songs, sigh!

Some people have accused your people of hippocrisy and simple sexual frustration. They say your Ram Sene members care little about the Indian culture and want to disrupt Valentine’s day just because they cannot get a girlfriend themselves. I disagree sir. Your guys may have missed the last stage of human evolution, but I can see the passion for Indian culture in their eyes. So what if they smoke and throw bidi/cigarette butts on the road or destroy the country’s property. They never claimed they loved India, did they? They are simply preserving the culture. Manners and respect for public property is definitely not a part of culture.

I’m going to keep this letter short sir. English is a western language and so I guess you won’t be able to understand a long letter. I’ll end with just a simple request on behalf of all the well wishers of Indian culture.

Valentine’s Day is just one of the many western products that have influenced our culture. Hitting it alone is not enough sir. We need to campaign against other products too. You seem to be my only hope.

I request you to campaign against cricket, cinema, english, computers, phones, electricity, automobiles, non-ayurvedic treatments like smallpox vaccine, and even democracy. All these western influences have totally messed up our people and diluted the Indian culture. 

Sir, we need to take the fight to the next level and remove ALL, I repeat, ALL the western influences from our culture. Then we can live our dream of an ideal India – an India ruled by a king with a well organized caste system; an India where women have to burn themselves alive on the funeral pyre of her husband, her rightful end; an India where there is no electricity; an India where people ride bullocks and horses only; an India where millions of people die of infections, smallpox, and polio.

Together we can make it happen sir. Let me know how I can help.

With love regards

Nitesh

Image source: The Hindu (link)