heartattack

Just like the Chocolate Dilemma earlier, another question has been bothering me lately. Consider this scenario:

Jack and Rose are a happily married couple. They are truly, madly, deeply in love. Adam,  Rose’s college friend, has a thing for her but Rose is simply in love with Jack. Rose loses her memory in a freaky accident. The new Rose, though still Jack’s wife, has no feelings for Jack. In fact, she now loves Adam.

My question is – what’s the right thing? By right, I mean not only for Rose, but for, let’s say, the universe. Should Rose continue to be with Jack, or should she start a new life with Adam?

A couple of months ago, I saw this film Being John Malkovich. The film is the pinnacle of fiction. It is about a guy who finds a tunnel to the conscience of a major filmstar – John Malkovich. You crawl through the tunnel and you end up inside Malkovich’s head for like 15 minutes. Quite imaginative.

After the film, I asked myself the obvious question – if I could be someone else for 15 minutes, who would it be? Among the many people that I shortlisted, one of them being Brad Pitt, especially when he’s home at night, I had in the list SACHIN TENDULKAR. 

Why Sachin Tendulkar? For his talent? Popularity? Money? Success? Nope! I want to be Sachin Tendulkar because I want to know what it feels like to be a superhero.

Why do I think Sachin Tendulkar is a superhero? Surely not because of his 12,000 test runs, a record he made just yesterday, or his 39 test centuries. I’m sure Ricky Ponting will eclipse both records some day. Superheroes cannot be judged by statistics. No one knows how many baddies Superman killed. But Superman is a superhero because we know that he’ll come to the rescue when the baddies arrive. It is for the same reason that Sachin Tendulkar is a superhero.

Every time he goes on to bat, the whole of India, if not the whole world that watches cricket, cheers, as if a gladiator has walked into an arena full of hungry tigers. The pious ones pray to God. The more pious ones put vermillion on the television screen (not kidding). The hysterical ones watch every ball he faces from behind a pillow bunker as if their eyes shot rays of misfortune that’ll go through the TV screen and bowl Sachin out. No matter what the opposition does, as long as Sachin is out there, there’s hope India can still win, even if it is mathematically impossible. Sachin is a superhero – he can even bend the rules of mathematics and take India to victory. Heck, Sachin can bend light.

The last bit my friends is what makes Sachin Tendulkar a superhero – not his money, records, or popularity – it’s the hopes that he carries – the hopes of 20% of the world’s population. My guess is all other superheroes combined don’t have the burden of so many hopes, even if I account for the population of planet Krypton.

I wonder how this man can stand straight with so much on his shoulders. I wonder how he can afford to whack a 150 kmph Shoiab Akhtar ball in the air, well knowing that if he got out, he’ll break more hearts than Aishwarya Rai did when she married that moron. Probably that makes him a superhero – faith in his powers. Spiderman doesn’t fear that his web would snap – he just keeps somersaulting. Batman doesn’t fear that his Batmobile is gonna crash while chasing baddies at 200 miles an hour. They both have faith in their abilities, much like Sachin has. 

It is easy to criticize Sachin Tendulkar by citing his less than heroic 4th innings average, or his dismal average against big oppositions when chasing big scores – often the best indicators of a player’s dependability. It is also easy to quote the performance of Ponting, Hayden, Hussey, Sangakkara, or Pietersen, and show how they are better. But it simply does not matter. This is not about proving that he is the best. He may or may not be. Remember Neo? The superhero from The Matrix? He was a superhero even before he killed a single agent. Why? Because people believed that he was their savior. With Sachin, it’s the same. He may not have rescued India as often as a player of his talent should have, but people BELIEVE that he is the savior, the superhero. It’s a question of perception. Sachin Tendulkar is a figure above logic.

So back to where I started – I really want to know what it feels like to be Sachin Tendulkar – walking into a stadium with chants of “Sachin, Sachin.” What it feels like to hit a six or score a century in front of such a crowd. Also, I want to know how it feels like getting out cheaply in that stadium? Does it feel worse than watching Serena Williams in skimpy outfits? Worse than spending 5 minutes with an iPhone fanboy? Worse than Mayawati’s face?

All I want is my tunnel. Sachin, I’m sure, can make this tunnel too.

In a small village near Bogra in Bangladesh, a woman walks in with an umbrella and an insulated blue colored bag. In a scene reminiscent of the Pied Piper story, about a dozen children follow her. No, the bag does not have 3G iPhones in it! Instead, the bag contains 20 cups of Shokti Doi (Bengali for “Power Yogurt”), a cup of 80 grams of fortified yogurt that might just be a new social movement.

The foundations of this movement were laid in October 2005, when the Bangladesh based Grameen Group of Companies, lead by Nobel laureate Dr Muhammad Yunus, and Group Danone of France, a food and beverage powerhouse, decided to come together to improve the diet of rural Bangladeshi children. Shokti Doi was born in early 2007 out of this joint venture, conveniently called Grameen Danone.

Shokti Doi is no ordinary yogurt. From its ingredients, to pricing, to packaging, it is a remarkably well-designed product that offers something new to its target consumers – children.

First, the yogurt contains exactly the nutrients deficient in the daily diet of the Bangladeshi children. Danone conducted an extensive study of their eating habits from which it determined the nutrients they lack most. Shokti Doi was then fortified with these nutrients, which include vitamin A, iron, calcium, zinc, protein, and iodine.

Furthermore, the taste of the yogurt is in line with the tastes of the generally sweet-toothed Bangladeshis. To offset the “off” taste acquired from the fortifying ingredients, sugar from dates was added to the yogurt, a violation of the sugar-free policy of Danone yogurts worldwide. A number of permutations were worked on to get the taste right. This move ensured that the children would want to eat the yogurt.

Next, the product is affordable. Priced at 5 taka (approx 7 cents), Shokti Doi is much cheaper than normal yogurts in the market, let alone fortified ones.

So now, children in Bangladesh have access to an affordable health food that not only satisfies their nutritional needs but is tasty as well. This is unprecedented.

The wonder of this venture does not end there. Besides malnutrition, the Shokti Doi project aims to fight poverty by creating opportunities for local manpower.

The business follows a proximity model. This means that factories are small and service only a small area. The idea is to scatter many such factories across the country. This allows for distribution of the yogurt by local ladies instead of trucks. The automation in these factories is limited to increase the scope for employment. Furthermore, the ingredients of the yogurt like milk and dates are procured from farms run by the locals with the initial financing coming from the Grameen Bank itself.

The venture is also environmentally aware. The yogurt factories are solar powered and the yogurt cups are made of biodegradable cornstarch as opposed to plastic.

The fact that it is able to address such a multitude of issues makes Grameen Danone’s Shokti Doi initiative a form of social revolution. In fact, there is potential to do even more. Grameen Danone, for example, could use the Shokti Doi packaging to educate children. Simple thoughts like “Be Honest” and “Girls and Boys are equal” printed on the yogurt cup can be very effective pedagogical tools.

This is just a start. Malnutrition is a global problem. So far Grameen Danone has set up one factory in Bangladesh that serves just the district of Bogra. The road ahead for the venture will be to build more factories in Bangladesh and create a system that allows this venture to be scaled to other third world countries effectively.

One can also expect additions to the Shokti Doi family to fight typical forms of malnutrition in women and infants.

From the economics point of view, Grameen Danone is run as what Dr Yunus calls a “Social Business,” i.e., a “No Loss No Dividends” company with a social objective. Such a company works like a profit making company, but the margins are minimal and all the profits are channeled back to the business.

Social businesses, as exemplified by Grameen Danone, allow corporations to integrate social objectives with their core competences. Companies, instead of simply donating money to charity, can contribute to the society much more by using their know-how to build products for the poor.

Grameen Danone has opened up a market for food and beverage products aimed at the rural population, a segment of the market often ignored by the topmost players owing to the segment’s low purchasing power. One can now expect other players like Nestle and Unilever to introduce competing products, either as their own social businesses to fulfill their social responsibilities, or as traditional profit-making businesses if Grameen Danone does turn out to be a profitable venture.

This competition will allow for an expedited introduction of such products globally, more rural employment at better wages, more products, and more competitive prices. Poverty can be wrestled with and knocked out faster.

But until that happens, Grameen Danone is fighting it “one cup of yogurt at a time.”

2008 has been a fantastic year for sports

• An Olympics that gave us the feats of Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt
• A Wimbledon that gave us arguably the best tennis game ever followed by a US open where a fallen hero silenced his doubters
• A nailbiting finish to the English Premier League and the Champion’s league
• The inaugural Indian Premier League that has changed the face of world cricket
• A Superbowl that gave us one of the most significant upsets in American Football history

And well, adding another feather to the cap of 2008 is the Singapore Grand Prix – the first after-dark race in the history of Formula 1. If any country could pull such a feat off, it had to be Singapore – a country that is synonymous to efficiency.

Singapore is the country version of Iridium when it comes to density. Carving out a race track from the city center in such a country is harder than getting Apple to approve you iPhone application. But well they did it, and in style. In fact, the circuit had a video-game..ish feel to it. 

The cars looked great under the lights. I wish the cheerleaders were as good..!!

The circuit itself was enough overdose of awesomeness, but the awesomeness did not stop there. The race itself bordered on the “Britney Spears” mark on my awesomeness scale.

First, Felipe Massa, starting on pole, opined that he’ll probably need more fuel than this car could contain – so he decided to take the fuel hose with the car. While that would have certainly made Doc Oc happy, the half-dragon-monster looking car did not go well with the high command and the already screwed driver was further penalized.

Secondly, Force India’s Adrian Sutil, admitting to self that he cannot get Force India even 1 point this season (how lousy can you get.. I think if I sent a team of trishaws to F1 I would have won at least 1 point this season), decided to aim for Felipe Massa instead of the checkered flag. Unfortunately for him, Massa was faster than the Titanic and avoided the collision. Sutil, the iceberg, did not. Wham!!

At the end of the day, Fernando Alonso triumphed. That guy is so talented that if he drove for my trishaw team, we might even win the F1. Here, he was helped not only by his unmatched talent and the “ever-so-reliable” French engineering (:P), but also by Mercedes. Yes, the safety cars were all Mercs. Lewis Hamilton will not be a happy man.

‘Twas great to see him on the podium receiving that winner’s trophy that, though looking like a structure made out of defunct xylophones, was indeed pretty. Again, Singapore perfectionism at work!!

I wonder, however, how much fine the Singapore government would have imposed on the winning drivers for spilling champagne on the streets (and on Ruben Barrichello, who accidently threw his gloves in the Singapore river while attempting a rockstar maneuver of throwing stuff at fans). My guess – $200 each, at least.. oh wait, 200 is for spitting.. maybe 300!

Welcome once again to the heartATTACK 99 SHOW – the show where you’ll know what some of the famous people really are.

Using our patented solution formula 99 which, when touched, leads to some chemical stuff inside one’s body, we bring out the real side of people!

Last time our guest was Ms Mamta Banerjee. This week, we have another important political figure – Mr Raj Thackeray. This time, we left a copy of “Marathi for Dummies” book dipped in formula 99 at our set entrance. As we expected, he picked it up and started reading immediately. And as expected, the potion started working!

Just as he said this, Rajji took out his purse (I knew he was gay) and smeared his face with white powder. He then took out his lipstick and in an almost devilish (what else do you expect) way, wore the bright red lipstick all around his lips. Before I could understand what was happening, he took out his Kaajal and made panda eyes with it. Epiphany!!!!! OMG OMG!!! RAJ Thackeray IS THE JOKER